


Like Drifting

by NarryMusings



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst and Fluff, M/M, Narry - Freeform, Storan, drifter!harry, narry storan - Freeform, small-town-boy!niall, travel AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 01:46:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2410484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarryMusings/pseuds/NarryMusings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's like the equivalent of a drifter, traveling the world on his own - and Niall is the boy he leaves behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Drifting

**Author's Note:**

> Hii.
> 
> Here's the companion piece for Chasing Happiness. Again, though, you don't have to read that to read this. They're two totally different stories, they just sort of have the same type of plot. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Tumblr: narrymusings
> 
> P.S. I haven't had the chance to thank any of you personally for your comments but thank you so, so much! You're all very kind and appreciated.

When Niall is 11, his dad gets a "promotion" at work and ends up uprooting their family of four from their small town in Mullingar, Ireland to the equally small town of Holmes Chapel in England. He isn't sure how he feels about the place at first because everyone seems so prim and proper and he misses the loud, rowdy folk back home in Ireland. 

Two weeks later he meets a boy by the name of Harry Styles and he's...different. 

And Niall is intrigued because Harry is quiet and respectful – albeit a little weird and incredibly quirky – and it's like half the time he's in his own little world, but there's something that's just so magnetic about him. He has a lot friends, but they also like to tease him because he talks too slow – but Niall just thinks it's because he always thinks before he speaks – and some of the things he says doesn't even make sense but Harry never seems to mind the eye rolls and the laughter. Even if Niall does.

It's not even a month into their friendship when Niall's whole world begins to revolve around Harry; the way the Earth revolves around the sun. It's like Harry is the gravity that hold him to the Earth. They become a package kind of deal and soon enough everyone knows that wherever one boy is, the other is bound to be close by. It's like they're every kind of those old clichés: two of a kind, two peas in a pod, two halves of a whole – and everyone is used to it, to them: HarryandNiall.

And soon enough Niall can't remember what his life was like before Harry was a part of it and he doesn't want to remember because he's perfectly fine with it. But he'll bet you anything that it was boring as hell.

Even if it isn't always a good thing.

X

Harry's always been a free spirit; that's why Niall liked him.

He's always done whatever he wanted, whatever he felt like, whenever he wanted, however he wanted. He never cared much for rules or authority, but he didn't go around breaking rules or misbehaving. He lived life easily and he never needed much to be happy; he never asked for much. He had what he had and if he didn't have it then chances are he didn't need it – and that's how Harry treated most things in life.

Sometimes people would accuse him of having no ambition, no drive and not that he needed Niall's reassurance – because Harry's never cared what anybody thought of him – but Niall would always tell him that just because he doesn't think or live the way other people do, it doesn't mean he doesn't have any ambition – it just means that his idea of ambition is different than theirs. Hell, Harry's ideas and thoughts – his whole outlook on life, really, has always been different from everyone else. And while some people would make fun of him and others would disapprove, it never bothered Niall because that's what made Harry Harry. And if Harry couldn't be Harry, then what was the point in anything?

Niall used to tease him about being a modern day hippie and Harry would just smile that dimply grin of his and run his fingers through his dark brown, shaggy curls and agree.

X

Harry's always talked about leaving, about traveling the world, about seeing everything the world has to offer. "The world is meant to be seen, Niall," he used to say. He's always wanted to just pack a bag, throw a pin at a map and go there. 

He's always had dreams and aspirations and an inexplicable thirst for worldly knowledge. He sees the world differently than others because while for some it's black and white, for Harry it's all colour. Where most see a map, Harry sees adventure. Where most see a closed door signifying the end of a chapter, Harry just sees the beginning of another and he doesn't look back like everyone else does. Harry sees beauty everywhere he looks, where most people only find beautiful things beautiful. 

X

The first time Harry leaves, Niall should have expected it. He should have seen it coming because Harry says what he means and means what he says and he must have told Niall a million times that he was going to leave one day. That he was going to see the world. Hell, the boy's had it all planned out since he was 14 years old, so yeah, Niall should've seen it coming. He should've been prepared for the "I'm leaving tomorrow, Niall" on Harry's 18th birthday.  
But he isn't. Not even a little bit. Because Niall had just really, really hoped Harry would've grown out of it.

X

It's the first time Harry comes back and it's four months later. Four months. And yeah, Harry's texted him and sent him pictures of the places he's been to via email and sure, they've Skyped a few times – but this is different. This is Harry in the flesh, looking shocked and surprised and grinning from ear to ear as he takes in all the people who have gathered in his mother's kitchen for the surprise Welcome Home Party. This is Harry, with his dimples and tanned skin and new ink on his arm and slightly longer hair, curls pushed back and tucked underneath a bandana-headband.

And this is Niall, hiding – although he'll never admit it out loud – behind Harry's mum and step-dad, even as Harry throws himself at Anne, because he feels sick to his stomach. This is Niall with sweaty palms and shaking fingers and butterflies fluttering around in his stomach because it's been four months since he's really, truly seen his best friend – his Harry. This is the longest they've ever been apart and he's nervous because he can't think of a single thing to say right now.

It's like his brain has turned to mush and he's glad for all the excitement and distraction as Harry makes his way around the large kitchen, hugging and talking briefly to every single person before moving on. The length of time, however, does nothing for his preparation because Niall still feels a little bit lost by the time Harry finally reaches him.

"Hey," Harry breathes, and his voice is soft and a bit raspy and it makes Niall's heart hammer in his chest.

Niall smiles crookedly. "Hey, man." He lifts his hand as if to shake Harry's hand, but the brunette scoffs and his right hand curls around the back of Niall's neck – and Niall's breath catches in his throat because what the hell, is he going to kiss him? – and pulls him in for a hug. Niall kind of falls into him, a little bit surprised. But then the surprise is gone seconds later and he finds himself hugging back, his arms curling tightly around Harry's back and it feels just like old times; they used to hug and cuddle and act affectionate all the time – that's just the way they were with each other and everyone, friends and family alike, was used to it.

"Missed you, bro," Harry murmurs where his face is buried into the crook of Niall's neck. 

And Niall finds himself smiling – because, honestly, he's been beginning to think that he'd missed Harry a helluva lot more than Harry missed him. "Missed you too, Harry."

The party lasts most of the afternoon and into the evening until most of Harry's family and some of their mutual friends have left and then it's just a few of Harry's 'hispter' cousins and a couple of their friends hanging out and having drinks in the living room with his parents and his sister. Niall gets up to get himself a beer from the kitchen and that's when Harry comes in – and it's the first time they've been alone since the brunette traveler arrived. 

"Hey, man, do you want another?" Niall asks him, motioning to the empty bottle in Harry's right hand.

"Yeah, thanks."

There's a moment of silence while Niall fetches another beer before popping it open with his hand and sliding it across the island. 

"Come outside with me, I could use some air," Harry tells him and he's already walking towards the back door while hollering out to everyone back in the living room that they're going out in the backyard. Anne hums an approval and nobody else even gives them a second glance as it's kind of what they do.

"What, you didn't get enough air when you were traveling?" Niall teases and Harry chuckles.

They wind up sitting up on the first story roof and Niall remembers being kids and getting yelled at by Anne about staying off the roof because it's dangerous and she was afraid that they would fall. And he distinctly remembers telling Harry the first time she scolded them that maybe they should listen to her and Harry replying with an ever-so gentle: "I won't ever let you fall, Ni."

They spend nearly three hours on the roof top and not a single minute of it is silent because they're joking and laughing and reminiscing and Harry's talking adamantly about his travels and the places he'd seen and the people he'd met. And Niall just smiles because Harry sounds like a child talking about his first day at school. He sounds happy and that makes Niall happy.

X

The second time Harry leaves is two and a half months later. Niall is quiet the entire drive to the train station and Harry doesn't seem to notice the change in the blonde’s attitude because he's going on and on about all the places he's going to go and the things he's going to do. And Niall forces a smile when Harry says goodbye because he's excited and Niall can't take that away from him.

It becomes a cycle, after that.

Harry comes home, sticks around for a couple months and then he leaves to go have more adventures. He comes and he goes and he comes and he goes and Niall just grins and bears it because it's Harry. And this is what Harry wants and Niall just wants him to be happy. Even if it kind of kills him a little bit inside.

X

It's New Year's Eve and Harry's been back for four weeks now and Niall's just silently waiting for Harry to drop the "Think I'm gonna head out tomorrow" thing. It's been a year and a half of this and Niall just wonders how much longer this is going to last. Another year? Can he even do another whole year of this?

They're at a local pub now with some of their friends and few of Harry's cousins. It's five minutes to midnight and Niall watches Harry from across the pub; the pub is small though, so he's really only a handful of feet away. He's flirting with the dark red haired, female barkeep on the other side of the long, sticky counter and she's eating it up – he always has been charming, hasn't he? – and she's twirling her hair around her finger and fluttering her eyelashes and giggling like a little school girl. And Niall, though he actually usually likes her, hates her right now.

He's so busy staring that he almost misses the countdown and if it weren't for Zayn pulling him out of their booth, he would've. Zayn's drunk and he's laughing and he's got his right arm thrown around Perrie's shoulders, his fingers interlocked with hers, and his other arm thrown around Niall's shoulders. Everyone in the room starts counting down from 15 seconds and Niall glances back over at Harry at 10 seconds as he joins in.

His gaze stays on Harry right until the last second – there's so much noise and madness and flailing arms and spilling liquid that Niall's attention is pulled away and suddenly he's joining in the shouts and hollers of “HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR.” Zayn kisses Perrie – just like every other couple in the crowded pub – and then pulls back to slam a wet, sloppy kiss to Niall's own cheek before going back to his girlfriend. And everything else is kind of a blur of alcohol, shouts of "Happy New Year, lad" and high fives all around.

Three hours later, they're stumbling into Niall's flat because Harry doesn't want to go home yet – which really just means he isn't ready to go to sleep – and even though Niall's tired, he can't deny the boy with the curly hair. They're both drunk and they're both tripping over their own – and each other's – feet while they struggle to get out of their jackets and shoes. Niall tosses his keys into the small bowl on the table next to the door and Harry gives up on taking his jacket off, whining for Niall to help him. They make it as far as the kitchen for Niall to fetch two bottles of water from the fridge when Harry says he gives up and sinks to the floor. So Niall chuckles, tosses the bottle at Harry – the bottle lands in the brunette's lap, who lets out a soft "oomph" – and grabs a few slices of bread before sinking to the floor himself. 

Without a word, because they've never really needed words, Harry crawls across the floor and lies down with his head in Niall's lap. Niall tenses at first, but then he busies himself with eating the bread and threading his fingers through Harry's hair. Harry hums in response and closes his eyes.

"Why do all parties end up in the kitchen?" Harry wonders aloud.

Niall smirks. "That's where the food is."

It falls silent and with Harry's eyes still closed Niall looks at him, really looks at him. He's always thought the brunette was beautiful but now, somehow, he seems even more so. He looks so grownup, but still so young and without knowing him, Niall would never guess that he's seen as much of the world as he has. Niall stares at him; he's already got every single one of his gorgeous features – hair, eyes, cheekbones, jawline, nose, lips, ears – committed to memory, but he makes it a point to remind himself every time he's home. And he's glad he does, because while Harry always looks the same to him, there's always something different.

"Niall?" His voice is deep and raspy and it kind of startles Niall.

The blond blinks himself out of his reverie and his fingers stop moving in Harry's hair. "Yeah?"

And then Harry's sitting up and he's staring at Niall in a way the blond can't decipher and their faces are so close that Niall can feel Harry's breath. "I...I know it's way past midnight but...I didn't have a New Year's kiss."

Niall blinks again, taken aback. "What? What about the barkeep?"

Harry shrugs. "What about her?"

"You were flirting with her. And she was obviously flirting with you-"

"That's because she's a barkeep," Harry chuckles, rolling his eyes. "They pay her to pour drinks and flirt for tips."

"S-so you didn't kiss her?" Niall wonders and he curses the fact that his voice shakes. 

"Nope."

"Oh."

"Niall?" Harry murmurs and his voice is thick and raspy and seductive. 

Niall sucks in a breath. "Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

And Niall doesn't even have to answer, the look on his face must be all the answer Harry needs, because all of a sudden Harry's kissing him. His lips are warm and soft against his own chapped ones. They're hesitant and they're smooth and Niall feels like he's 13 years old again. Because Niall was 13 when he received his first kiss and he was nervous and he was shaking and Harry had been the one to kiss him back then too because Niall was afraid of starting high school having not even kissed anyone. (Harry had offered to help him out and Niall had begun to wonder who the brunette would find to kiss him when all of a sudden there lips against his own.)

And Niall is kind of surprised – both because Harry's kissing him and because it feels exactly the same. His stomach is churning from the butterflies in his stomach and his heart is beating so wildly in his chest that he's certain Harry can hear it, which is bloody well embarrassing.

Harry brings his hands up, cupping Niall's face as he sucks the blonde's bottom lip in between his own and Niall moans deep in his throat as he curls both arms around Harry's waist. He pulls the brunette closer and Harry obliges, crawling over Niall's legs to straddle his lap. Niall moans again and Harry smiles into his lips before pulling back, pressing their foreheads together.

"Happy New Year, Ni," Harry whispers.

"Yeah," Niall breathes, grinning as Harry leans in to kiss him once more and his "Happy New Year, Haz" is swallowed by Harry's mouth.

+

The rest of Harry's stay, which only lasts another two weeks and three days, is full of subtle smiles, hidden kisses and sleepy cuddles. And then, like Niall knew he would, Harry packs his bags. 

And Niall tries not to cry as he watches Harry disappear down a terminal in the airport. 

X

Harry's coming back again and Niall isn't sure how he feels or what to think. He's nervous and he's anxious and his left knee is bouncing up and down as he waits for Harry to make his appearance. He's only been gone for two months this time, but two months away is still two months away from home – from Niall. And Niall is confused because, for what feels like the millionth time, he doesn't know how he's supposed to act or what he's supposed to say – only this time that feeling is magnified because they were kissing and cuddling before he left and they weren't before that. Sure they've spoken since and Harry has texted him a few times during his latest voyage, but they've never spoken about what they are or what they're doing – or even if they're still doing it.

So how is he supposed to act, what's he supposed to say if he doesn't know where he stands right now? 

He's pulled out of his thoughts when someone clears their throat above him and he lifts his gaze to see the man in his head standing in front of him, that all too familiar cheeky grin spread across his face. He scrambles to his feet, taken aback by Harry's presence because he hadn't been aware that it was that time yet. "H-hey," Niall greets him, smiling back.

Harry's right hand curls around the back of Niall's neck and his other arm wraps around his back and all of a sudden Niall's being crushed against Harry's chest and Harry's face is buried into Niall's neck. Niall can feel the brunette's lips press a soft kiss to his neck and if humans could physically melt themselves into another person then Niall thinks he would. 

"Let's get outta here, yeah?"

Fifteen minutes later they're having lunch at their favourite cafe and then Niall's driving him back to his parents' house and when he doesn't move to climb out of the car, Harry's insisting that he come inside with him.

Niall doesn't plan to stay long, because he knows that Anne misses her son and Gemma misses her brother, but when he tries to leave as Anne disappears into the kitchen to make dinner, all three of them are adamant that he stay.

Before he knows it, Anne has gone to bed and Gemma has gone back to her own flat and Niall is watching a movie in the living room with Harry, whose legs are tangled with Niall's. And then part way through the movie, which Niall isn't even all that interested in, he realizes that Harry is asleep on him and that he won't be leaving anytime soon.

+

The next couple weeks run along the same kind of lines as the last couple before Harry left. There's a lot of kissing and cuddling, only this time it's all out in the open. Niall's mum thinks it's adorable and she says as much when Niall brings Harry over for a visit – and Anne just kind of smiles knowingly and when Harry leaves to go to the toilet one day she kisses Niall's cheek and gives him this look that says, "maybe now he'll stay." 

A few days later they go back to Niall's flat after having dinner with the lads in town. Niall barely has the front door closed when Harry presses him against it with the length of his body and kisses him. Niall is surprised, at first, at the brunette's forcefulness, but then he's deepening the kiss and holding Harry to him like he's a lifeline. Harry licks at Niall's lips and the blond readily accepts his tongue, moaning into Harry's mouth and tugging on the fabric of his shirt. 

Harry pulls back to breath and gazes intently at Niall, who blushes under his stare. "I've been waiting all evening to do that," he murmurs, brushing his nose against Niall's. 

Niall giggles, resting his head back against the door. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

This time Niall surges forward, capturing Harry's lips between his own as his arms come up to wrap around Harry's neck. Harry presses him harder against the door, his hands sneaking up under the bottom of Niall's t-shirt and Niall gasps, pulling a chuckle out of the brunette's throat. Niall gasps again when he feels Harry's hardness against his own and when Harry pulls his lips away – only to attach them to Niall's neck – Niall lets out a shaky, shuddering breath. 

"You're shaking," Harry notes against the pale skin of Niall's neck before pulling back to look at him.

"I know," Niall breaths. "I'm nervous."

"You're not a virgin, Niall."

And no, Niall's not a virgin. But he's nervous and he's anxious and he's shy because he might as well be a virgin. Because this is Harry he's with right now and this is something he's always, wanted. And he knows that Harry's more experienced than he is – and that he's probably gained even more experience while on his travels – because, for the most part, sex has always been just sex for Harry and so maybe Niall feels like this has to be amazing and perfect and just... It's just that this is Harry and this is a big deal; bigger than his first time getting off with Josh and bigger than his actual first time with Sean.

"I...I want it to be perfect, Haz," Niall whispers and he looks down at the small, paper airplane hanging from the chain around Harry's neck in embarrassment. 

"It will be, Ni," Harry whispers back, ducking his head to nose Niall's back up so the blond will look at him. "I promise."

And when they're lying, tangled together in the sweaty post-orgasm aftermath, Niall decides that it was definitely pretty perfect. 

X

Sleeping together doesn't stop Harry from leaving again, this time to visit Australia and Niall forces himself to keep it together long enough to drive to the flat his and Harry’s friend, Louis, shares with his girlfriend Eleanor. But the second Louis opens the door Niall loses it and becomes a sobbing, blubbering mess, curling into his older friend for support while Eleanor runs to the kitchen to turn on the kettle. 

X

And this is how it goes over the course of the following two or three times Harry comes back only to leave again. It's like Harry arrives and everything goes back to normal, back to the way it's supposed to be and they're NiallandHarry again and there's kisses and cuddles and lovemaking and everything is great. And then Harry hops on a plane or a train or a bus – or whatever he feels like, really – and a piece of Niall's heart is ripped from his chest to follow the boy who just can't stay still. 

Niall's finally had enough.

X

"You can't keep doing this, Harry," Niall tells him one afternoon, while they're lounging around Niall's flat to avoid the rain outside. Niall's standing in the kitchen, making two cups of tea, while Harry's lying sprawled across the couch reading. 

"Doing what?" Harry asks curiously, like he honestly doesn't know what he's done wrong, as he closes his book and looks across the open concept.

Harry's only been back for six days now and Niall's pretty sure that even with his head in the clouds, Harry can tell that Niall is off. After all, he'd have to be stupid not to notice and Niall knows that Harry is anything but stupid. There's been a weird tenseness that's surrounded them ever since Niall picked him up from the train station, despite Niall trying to act normal. 

Niall sighs, "I can't keep doing this."

Harry's eyebrows come together in confusion as he sits up and places his feet on the floor, looking sideways. "What are you talking about?"

Niall hadn't planned on saying it like this, so randomly or bluntly. He'd planned on easing into it, perhaps when Harry had started to plan his next trip. But now that he's said it, he knows he can't take it back and so he stays in the kitchen to keep the space between them between them. "You can't just continue to come and go whenever you please," Niall says, locking eyes with Harry. "You can't come into my life and expect things from me and then just leave again – that's not how this is supposed to go."

Harry continues to look confused. "I don't...I don't know what that means, Niall."

And of course he doesn't, Niall thinks. Because Harry doesn't think the way other people think and he doesn't see things the way other people see things. And, to be fair, he knows that Harry doesn't really expect anything from him and that if Niall didn't want to pick him up from the airport or the train station that he would find another ride and that if Niall decided he didn't want to kiss and cuddle and have sex with Harry that they wouldn't. The problem is that Niall wants to; he wants to pick him up and be the first person he sees and he wants to kiss him and hug him and hold him. He just wants Harry. 

Niall sighs again, shaking head. "Nevermind."

And Harry doesn't fight him because he's Harry.

X

Niall doesn't remember how it came up or even who started it, although he's pretty sure he did because Harry rarely ever starts fights with anyone – let alone with Niall. In fact, Niall doesn't even think they've ever had a proper fight before. It's just that one minute they're out having drinks with Liam, Louis and Zayn and then in next they're yelling at each other from across the table because Louis had mentioned something about how he doesn't know (or understand) why Niall puts up with Harry's leaving all the time. In fact, it isn't himself or Harry that starts it because it's Louis. Either way, they'd left the pub quickly after and hadn't talked the entire way back to Niall's flat. The second the front door closed, however, the yelling had started up again.

It's just that neither one of them understands each other anymore; perhaps they never have.

"This isn't fair, Harry!" Niall shouts, pulling at his own hair as he tries to refrain from throwing something across the room. "It isn't fair that you take off whenever you feel like it – for however long you feel like it – and then come back and expect everything to be normal! You expect everything to go back to the way it was the last time you were here and maybe it's my fault because I let you, but it isn't fair-"

"You're right, it's not!" Harry yells back. "But you know I can't just stay here, this isn't me!"

"And this isn't me!" Niall screams, his hands clutching at the fabric of his own shirt. And he really, really hopes he doesn't have to explain to Harry what he means because he doesn't know that he can. He doesn't know that he can actually put into words how this is affecting him; how this waiting around and this pining and this half-ass, sometimes- relationship isn't him. 

Harry blinks and Niall can tell that he's searching for something to say as they stare at each other and Niall thinks that it shouldn't be this hard to know what to say.

"Just...you should go, Harry," Niall whispers. 

"What – but, Niall-"

"Please, just...I'll see you tomorrow."

Harry nods silently and leans forward to kiss him, but Niall takes a step back. Because if Harry kisses him then Harry wins and Niall knows that he won't be able to make Harry leave. Harry grabs his jacket off of the kitchen island, walks to the door and opens it – and Niall waits for the sound of it closing but it doesn't come because Harry's standing in the doorway and he's looking back at Niall with eyes the blond can't seem to read properly. "I haven't...I haven't slept with anyone else since we started...this," he murmurs, before walking out and closing the door behind him

Niall is confused for a second before he remembers that he had brought it up at the bar earlier, which is what had really started the whole thing to begin with.

+

And despite the utter sinking feeling in Niall's chest and stomach – and despite Harry saying he can get his mum or Gemma to drive him to the airport – Niall drives him because he isn't yet ready to not be the last person Harry sees before leaves. Again.

X

It's not that Harry doesn't have responsibility or that he doesn't understand what it is to be an adult – they're 21 years old, after all, and Niall has a full-time job and Harry supports himself when he's gone all the time. And it's not that Harry doesn't know what consequences are or that his actions have them.

It's just that Harry doesn't quite get it. He doesn't quite understand how his leaving all the time affects everyone else's lives too, because he isn't around to see it. He doesn't see how sad Anne and Gemma sometimes are when Harry's name is brought up in conversation. He doesn't see how his family is constantly in a state or worry – and sometimes, when they can't get a hold of him, a state of panic – when Harry is gone because he's alone and if something were to happen to him they might never find out. He doesn't see the tears that trickle down Niall's cheeks at night when he tries to go to sleep because Harry isn't there. 

And it's not that Harry doesn't care, he just doesn't see it.

And so Niall tells him because they're fighting again and Niall just wants him to see it. For the first time since meeting Harry and knowing Harry, Niall just wants him to see things the way everyone else does. He never thought he’d want that; never thought he’d need it.

"You need to open your eyes and take responsibility for you actions, Harry," Niall snaps, tossing the dish towel he's been using to dry the dishes after dinner – while Harry's sat on the counter. "You need to grow up. We're not kids anymore – you can't just do shit like this and ignore the consequences by shoving them under the rug the way we used to, Harry. Life doesn't work that way, not anymore."

Harry remains silent.

Niall sighs because when did it even get like this? So tense; so foreign. 

"You know, most of our friends have full-time jobs now. And Zayn and Perrie just got engaged, did you know that?" Harry nods, but Niall continues. "They're talking about starting a family soon. Zayn wants a boy first, but I think Perrie wants a girl. And Josh – him and his girlfriend are expecting-"

"What's your point, Niall?"

Niall places both hands on the edge of the counter top and looks sideways at his mostly-long distance boyfriend. "My point is that everyone's growing up and moving on, Harry."

"And – what? You're saying that I'm not?"

"I'm just saying you can't do this forever," is all Niall can muster up the courage to say. But there’s oh-so much more on his mind. 

X

This previous trip of Harry's lasts longer than any of his previous and way longer than Niall would've liked. So he's a little quieter when he picks Harry up this time and he's a little moodier when he attends Gemma's birthday party at Anne's and Robin's house as Harry's date – not that he needs to be Harry's date in order to attend. And he knows that Harry's noticed because the brunette is acting more attentive than usual lately – and a little bit clingy. And for the most part, despite being a little bit moody and distant, Niall's having a good time because he loves Harry's family and he likes Gemma's friends and everything is fine. 

Until it isn't. Until, that is, someone inevitably asks Harry where he's planning on going next and Niall tenses next to Harry on the couch. Harry's hand squeezes Niall's in Niall's lap and at least he has the decency to look apologetic, but Niall wants nothing to do with it. He pulls his hand out of Harry's, forcing back tears as he pushes himself to feet against Harry's protests. Gemma frowns and rubs his shoulder briefly on his way past her so he smiles apologetically before bursting out the back door and onto the porch, not even caring that he's only wearing socks on his feet.

He hears the door swing back open before it even closes all the way and a few seconds later there's an arm trying to snake around his waist. He sucks in a quick breath and shrugs the arm off with a soft, "don't."

Harry ignores him and tries again. "Niall-"

"Don't touch me!" Niall yells, whirling around as he takes a few steps back. And he's well aware that everyone inside can hear them and that maybe he sounds a little bit ridiculous but he can't bring himself to care. 

Harry flinches and brings his hand up to pinch the bridge of his noise. "Niall, I didn't-I don't... That wasn't my fault-"

"Nothing's ever your fault, is it?" Niall scoffs, glaring forward at his boyfriend.

Harry blinks. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? I didn't say anything, you can't be mad at me for that."

"Well I am, so..."

"Why are you so against this, huh?!" Harry asks, his voice raising. "Why are you so mad at me, Niall?!"

"Because!"

"Because why?!" the brunette's demands. "You've known me forever – you know that I've always wanted to get out of here, to get out there! You knew that from the minute you met me, so why are you so mad at me?!"

The next several words slip out of Niall's mouth before he can stop them. "Because you didn't even ask me to go with you!"

And there it is. The truth. The truth he's tried so hard to deny; the truth he's tried so hard to keep from Harry for all these fucking years. There it is, hanging in front of them – taunting Niall. And Niall wishes he could take them back.

Harry's eyebrows come together in confusion. "W-what?"

Niall can't take them back, so he swallows the lump in his throat instead. "You never asked me to go with you," he mutters. "All those times you talked about leaving and you never asked me to go with you."

"You never said anything," Harry replies and his arm moves out to reach for Niall before he pulls it back awkwardly. "Y-you've always wanted to stay so I didn't think you wanted me to ask."

"Well I did."

"And what would you have said, Niall?" Harry asks without a beat, staring at Niall intently. "If I had asked you to come with me, what would you have said?"

"I don't know – I don't know what I would've said," Niall stutters and that is also the truth. The thing is, he's always wanted Harry to just ask him but he's never actually thought about what he would say. He's always liked to think that he would follow Harry anywhere, but he's never had the desire to just leave like Harry does. 

Harry takes a couple steps towards Niall and when Niall remains still, the curly haired lad reaches out for him, grasping Niall's hand and playing with his fingers. "What would you say if I asked you now?" he asks, eyebrows raised.

Niall shrugs. "I don't know."

A couple minutes later Harry manages to coax Niall back inside, where the previous topic of discussion is forgotten – or, rather, ignored. 

+

They don't speak of it again for weeks and, for that, Niall is glad. Because the truth is that he doesn't have an answer for Harry. Sure, he'd like to travel to a few places; he's always wanted to visit Australia and maybe go to New York for New Year’s Eve. But the difference between Niall's desires and Harry's desires is that Niall's always wanted to experience it with someone – with Harry, really – and Harry's just always wanted to experience it. It's like a drug for Harry, to escape far and wide and lose himself in the world and Niall's just always been a homebody.

So Niall thinks about it, about what he would say if Harry asked him to go with him – again, because the first time doesn't count. And he thinks that yeah, maybe if Harry wanted to go on vacation with him then Niall would go – in a heartbeat – but it isn't a vacation that Harry wants. And now Niall isn't even sure if he still wants Harry to ask him. 

Several weeks later, Niall wakes up to the sound of Harry's duffle bag being zipped up; he's heard it so many times now that he doesn't even have to open his eyes. And he doesn't want to open his eyes because he wants a few more peaceful moments of being in Harry's bed and smelling Harry on the sheets and knowing that Harry is still in the same room. 

When he does open his eyes, Harry is sitting in his old computer chair, his back turned to the desk. He's staring at Niall – and Niall knows he was watching him pretend to still be asleep – and he makes no move to look away. Niall pushes himself up and leans back against the wooden headboard, adjusting the white comforter around waist as a sort of barrier. His gaze flickers to the bag at Harry's feet for a moment before he forces himself to make actual, real eye contact with his boyfriend. "You're leaving. Again. In record timing too." He hates that he sounds so bitter, but at the same time he thinks that Harry deserves it. 

Harry closes his eyes. "Don't be like that."

"Don't tell me how to be," Niall snaps.

"Come with me," Harry whispers.

Niall stares at him for a minute – and the look in Harry's eyes is so genuine that it should make Niall happy, but it doesn't. "You're only asking me now because I told you I wanted you to, not because you actually want to."

"Of course I do," Harry insists, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "I've always wanted to."

"Yeah, right," Niall snorts. 

Harry sighs and pushes himself to his feet before making his way across his small, childhood bedroom to sit on the edge of the bed next to Niall's feet. He leans closer, planting his hand on the other side of Niall's legs. "I have, Niall. I've always wanted you to come with me – why do you think I always come back here? Why do you think you're always the first and the last person I see?"

Niall blinks, taken aback because he's never thought about it like that before. Being the first and last person that Harry sees all the time was always something Niall attributed to his own selfishness – because he wanted to be the first and last person Harry saw. He never took the reason behind it for Harry into consideration. "I...I didn't know," he admits.

"You never asked."

Niall sighs. "We should get going, before you miss the train," he says, though he makes no effort to move.

Harry just smiles at him and cocks his head to the side, a mischievous grin plastered across his lips. "Come with me."

The blond thinks, very briefly, about making a joke out of it – thinks about saying that he is going with him because he's Harry's ride. But he doesn't, because it isn't funny anymore and Niall can no longer pretend it is. "I can't, Harry."

"Yes you can. Come with me."

"Harry-"

"Come with me," Harry insist, a little more firmly this time. He wraps the hand that isn't holding him up around the back of Niall's neck and brings their lips together for a rather chaste kiss before pushing his forehead against the blonde's. "Run away with me, Niall."

Niall takes a deep breath – he smells Harry all around him – and he closes his eyes. "No."

When he opens them again, a couple minutes later though they're in the same position, Harry looks sad and hurt. And a little bit surprised because he probably wasn't expecting for Niall to say no. "W-why not?"

"Because I'm not like you, Harry. I can't just leave whenever I feel like it the way you can," Niall murmurs and he finds himself looking down at his hands in his lap.

Harry nods once and Niall feels it against his forehead before the warm feeling of Harry's skin disappears as he pulls away abruptly. Niall looks up to see Harry standing silently by the window. Harry's shoulders are tense as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"You can't be mad at me for not going with you," Niall says, climbing off the bed before starting to pull his clothes back on.

"I'm not mad at you," Harry mutters. "I just don't understand why you don't want to come."

"And I don't understand why you have to go, so we're even," Niall snaps back. "Except we're not."

Harry sighs and whirls around to face him. "I don't know what you want me to say, Niall."

Niall shakes his head, laughing sarcastically as he pulls his jeans up his legs. "You know, maybe instead of constantly running away to try and find whatever it is you're looking for – which you clearly haven't found yet in the last four years, by the way – you should just be happy with what you do have."

"I'm not running away-"

"Yes you are, Harry."

"But I always come back."

"Yeah, well...maybe one of these days I'm not gonna be here," Niall mutters, pulling his shirt over his head.

Harry's brow furrows and he nearly stumbles back from the invisible blow. "W-what?"

"Yeah. Maybe one of these days I'll finally realize that you aren't gonna stay and I won't be here for you anymore."

"What does that even mean?" Harry asks and Niall thinks he sounds a little bit desperate.

"I don't know, Harry! I'm just...I'm tired of waiting. If I'm not waiting for you to come home, I'm dreading the inevitable wait for you to leave and if I'm not doing that I'm waiting for you to decide that maybe I'm enough for you to stay – and I'm tired of it. And you know what, Harry? Your mum and Gemma are tired of it too, they'll just never tell you."

Niall watches as Harry swallows the lump in his throat and thinks 'good'. He can practically see the wheels trying to turn in Harry's head as he tries to think of something to say. "Just forget it, Harry. You're gonna miss your flight, let's go."

X

Niall goes straight to work after dropping Harry off at the airport and his mind is all over the place. So, when Zayn calls him on his lunch break to ask him if he wants to go out for drinks after work, Niall can't say no.

It turns out that Liam and Louis tag along too and they all leave their respective girlfriends at home for Niall's sake – and even though Niall tells them he's fine with being the seventh wheel, he's glad he doesn't have to be. Because even though he loves these boys like brothers, seeing them all happy and in love on a daily basis is hard. And even though they all love Harry like a brother as well, Louis still asks Niall why he puts up with his boyfriend taking off all the time. And usually Niall will defend Harry until he's blue in the face but he's way past that now because he doesn't even know what to say. Nor does he know why. He supposes it all just comes down to the fact that, well, he loves Harry. He's always loved Harry.

And Niall used to love all of Harry's quirks and weirdness and free-spirt-ness – and he still does, it's just becoming increasingly hard to do so, because all of Harry's quirks and weirdness and free-spirit-ness is what’s keeps taking him away. Niall used to laugh at Harry's grand ideas and over-the-top desires to see the world, but it's no laughing matter anymore because all it does now is create tears and cause fights.

And Niall's well aware that he and Harry have fought more in the last couple years than they have in the entire time they've known each other. 

Niall doesn't want to go home to his empty, quiet flat but he doesn't want to impose on Liam and Danielle, so he politely declined the boy's offer to stay the night at their flat. He walks from the pub back to his flat because he could use the fresh air and the time to think.

The flat is quiet and feels empty when he walks in and he doesn't even bother to take off his jacket or his shoes before he grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge and trudges down the hallway to his bedroom. The door is open and his head is down as he walks inside. He shrugs his jacket off and tosses it onto his dresser and then toes his shoes off and kicks them the side. It's only when he turns around to throw himself onto the bed that he realizes he isn't alone. 

"Harry," he whispers, his eyes wide in surprise and confusion as he stares at the boy with brown curls and green eyes sitting cross-legged on the bed. He stumbles backwards out of shock, bumping against the side of his dresser. 

Harry looks at him with a sheepish smile. "Hi."

"Um, hi – w-what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't get on the plane."

"Wha- How long have you been here?"

Harry shrugs, pushing himself to edge of his bed to place his feet on the floor. "I knew you were at work so I went back to my mum's and then I came here around dinner time. There's Chinese take-away in the fridge for you, by the way; I ate mine."

"Yeah, sorry, I went out for dinner and drinks with the lads," Niall says distractedly. He glances at the clock, noting the time on it – 11:53 - and then looking back at Harry. "So you've been here all day-"

"-I was at my mum's-"

"-and you didn't call to tell me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise. So surprise!" Harry replies, smiling cheekily at him. 

But Niall doesn't laugh because he's confused. "So, but what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't get on the plane," Harry repeats. "I didn't want to leave without you."

Niall blinks. "I don't, I don't understand."

"I just never thought that asking you to come with me was an option so I didn't bother and now that I know that it is and that you don't want to come, I don't want to go without you. Does – does that make sense?"

"Not really, mate."

Harry sighs, shoving his hands into his pockets as he motions for Niall to sit down on the bed – which he does. "I-I don't know how to explain this," he says truthfully. "I just...Niall, traveling has always been my dream and I've always seen the world differently than everyone else, including you. And I've always known that I was going to travel and that it was gonna be my thing and I've always wanted you to come with me but I never thought that you did so I just resigned myself to going alone. And it felt wrong, you know, 'cause you weren't there, but it also felt right so I ignored everything else and now it's just like everything about it feels wrong without you – and you were right, when you said that it isn't fair for me to just keep leaving you and expecting that when I came back that it would all go back to normal. It was selfish of me and I've been so inconsiderate of you and I'm sorry."

Niall can see the tears collecting in Harry's eyes and he wants to reach out for him because he knows how easily emotional Harry gets sometimes, especially when he has to talk about his feelings. But then Harry starts talking again and it's like a floodgate has opened up and Niall can't do anything but listen. 

"I just don't want to hurt you anymore and I don't want to leave you behind anymore and I realized, when I was standing in line for my plane, that I'd rather be here with you, than somewhere out there without you. And there's always new things out there and for the most part they're always gonna be there but if they aren't then they can't be that special, right? And we can go on a vacation, whenever we want to later on and we can go wherever you want to go when we're ready. But you're here, Niall, and you've always been here – and yes, mum and Gemma are here too and I love them to pieces but, Niall, you...I love you more than anything. And I'm sorry if you've ever doubted that."

Niall blinks as Harry's speech begins to sink in. This is something Niall's always wanted to hear from Harry; that Niall is more important to him than traveling – and here it is. And Niall doesn't know how to respond. He knows that Harry has loved him, that Harry does love him and so he's never doubted that; he's just doubted exactly how much. And he doesn't know how to respond to that either. 

"Please say something, Ni," Harry whispers and his voice quivers with uncertainty. 

And that's what pushes Niall to his feet and makes him pull Harry into his chest and bury his face into the crook of Harry's neck, because Niall's always been protective of Harry and Niall wants to protect him from his own uncertainty. It doesn't matter how angry and bitter and frustrated Niall's been with Harry and it doesn't matter that for a second he actually considered breaking up with Harry and it doesn't matter that Harry's been running away from Niall for years. All that matters is that Harry is here and that Harry has chosen him over the rest of the world and that Harry has finally come back to him more times than he's left him.

Niall pulls Harry towards the bed and they lie together in a tangled mess of limbs and clothes and hair. "I love you," Niall breathes into Harry's neck. It's the only thing he can think of to say and it seems that it's the only thing he has to say because less a second later he feels all the tension in Harry's body melt away as he curls himself around Niall's body and burrows himself into Niall's chest. 

And nothing else needs to be said because not only is Harry finally home, but so is Niall.

X

[Epilogue]

Two years later

It's Friday afternoon, 5 o'clock to be exact, and Harry finds himself going through the motions of his daily closing routine. Puts all the left-over pastries and breads into a large Tupperware box. Wipes down all the counters. Locks the till inside a safe in the back office. Tosses his dirty apron into a bin with the others. And then he grabs the box and his keys and he locks up the bakery before heading to his car, which is parked just outside the front door. 

And just like every weekday, he stops at the local homeless shelter to give the staff there the left over pastries and breads before sending a text to his boyfriend. 

Should I stop at the store on my way home or do you want to have take-away? xx

A reply comes immediately, before he's even buckled his seatbelt once climbing back into the car.

Just come straight home

Harry was never one to follow routines or go through the motions like everyone else. He never cared for the idea of working to live and living to work. He's always fancied just doing whatever he felt like, whenever he felt like and not having to worry about anything else. And yet, strangely enough, he doesn't mind this routine. In fact, he actually kind of likes co-managing his own bakery – hell, he's always liked to bake to begin with anyway – and working 9-5 (which is really more like 7-5, most days) and coming home to Niall every day. And he likes having weekends off and spending all day with Niall – in bed or walking around the park or building movie forts in the living room. For the first time in a long time, Harry is content with staying still. 

That's not to say he doesn't still think about traveling, because he does. He misses it. And sometimes he gets jealous when someone else talks about going somewhere – like when Gemma and her boyfriend went to Paris for their anniversary last year and when Zayn and Perrie decided to go to Rome for their honeymoon. Sometimes he thinks about buying a plane ticket to anywhere in the world and just going, but then he sees Niall... And Niall squashes his desire to flee.

+

When he gets home, he's a little surprised to find it...quiet. Niall is almost never quiet, ever. He's usually watching TV or listening to music or playing his guitar or talking on the phone or something. But there's not a sound to be heard in the flat he now shares with Niall. 

"Niall?" he calls out, toeing his shoes off.

He starts down the hall when he doesn't get a response, he starts to get worried. "Niall!"

"'m in the bedroom – ouch! Son of a-" he curses, cutting himself off. 

Harry can't help but chuckle as he rounds the corner through the doorway into their bedroom. He comes to a halt, nearly stumbling over his own two feet as he takes in the sight before him – because there's Niall, sitting cross-legged on the bed amongst piles of clothes and an open, half empty suitcase. On the floor is another full suitcase.

"Hey, babes," Niall greets him. "How was work?"

"Um, it was good," Harry replies distractedly. "A-are you planning on going somewhere?"

Niall grins mischievously. "Actually, we are going somewhere."

"What are you talking about?"

"Check the dresser."

Harry's eyebrows come together in confusion. "What – Niall-"

"Just check it, yeah," Niall laughs. 

So Harry does check the dresser and it does nothing to clear the confusion. Sitting on the dresser are two plane tickets to Miami. He blinks, picking them up carefully to inspect them. They're round-trip tickets dated for departure for later tonight. He turns back to face Niall, whose grinning at him ecstatically. 

"I've already got nearly everything packed already, so once I'm done with the rest of my stuff we'll be good as gold," Niall explains. "Oh, but I got take-away early cause I was hungry, so there's some in the fridge if you want some before we leave-"

"Niall, Niall," Harry says, putting his arms out in front of him as a sign for his boyfriend to stop talking. "I'm not – I don't...what are these for?"

"They're for us, silly," Niall laughs, crawling off the bed to stand in front of Harry. "We're going away for a few days."

Harry screws up his face. "Ni, I can't just pack up and go, I have the bakery and – and where is this even coming from?"

"I'll have you know that I've already arranged it with Barbara and she's going to take care of the bakery while we're gone. And I've already spoken to your mum and Gemma and we're to drop by on our way to the airport – which, speaking of which, we should really start thinking about leaving because we have to be-"

"Niall," Harry says softly, grabbing his boyfriend's hand as the boy tries to walk around him. He tugs on Niall's arm, forcing him to stop moving – and talking. Niall just looks at him and Harry finds himself grabbing Niall's face in both hands. "Where is this coming from?"

Niall smiles softly and shrugs his shoulders. "It's been two years and we said that we would go on a vacation later and I thought you could use one. I think we both could, don't you?"

Harry blinks. "So that's it? We can just go?"

"That's it," Niall nods. "Everything's already planned, has been for the past week."

Harry pinches Niall's side but then smacks a chaste kiss to Niall's lips. "You cheeky bastard."

Niall smirks, cocking his head to the side. "So what do you say, Haz? Wanna run away with me for a little while?"

Harry grins, his dimples creating craters in his cheeks as he pulls Niall impossibly closer. “Always.”


End file.
